The Coaching Habit That Changed My Leadership

By The Powers Forma

If someone asked me what single leadership habit has made the greatest difference throughout my career, my answer probably wouldn't be what most people expect.

It wasn't becoming a better communicator.

It wasn't learning to delegate more effectively.

It wasn't reading another leadership book or attending another training.

While all of those things have been valuable, the habit that has transformed my leadership more than anything else is surprisingly simple.

I became more curious.

That one change altered nearly every conversation I have as a leader.

It changed how I coach.

How I make decisions.

How I approach conflict.

How I build trust.

And perhaps most importantly, how I help other people grow.

Looking back, I realize I spent far too many years believing leadership meant providing direction.

Today, I believe great leadership begins by seeking understanding.

Curiosity Changed the Way I Listened

Early in my career, I listened with a purpose.

Unfortunately, that purpose was usually to find the answer.

While someone was talking, my mind was already organizing my response.

I wasn't trying to interrupt, though admittedly sometimes I did.

I simply wanted to help.

Leadership has taught me that listening to solve and listening to understand are two very different skills.

Today, I try to approach every coaching conversation with one question quietly running through my mind:

"What am I missing?"

That question has slowed me down.

It has reminded me that every conversation has more than one perspective.

More importantly, it has helped me become a better listener.

People often reveal far more than we initially expect—if we give them enough space to do so.

Curiosity Creates Better Questions

One thing I've learned is that curious leaders naturally ask better questions.

Not because they memorized a list of coaching prompts.

Because they genuinely want to understand.

Instead of asking questions to prove a point, curiosity asks questions to discover one.

That small difference changes everything.

I've noticed that when employees sense genuine curiosity, they become more open.

They explain their thinking.

They share concerns they may have otherwise kept to themselves.

They begin working through ideas out loud.

That's where coaching becomes meaningful.

Not when leaders talk more.

When employees think more.

Curiosity Reduces Assumptions

If leadership has humbled me in one area, it's this.

Assumptions are rarely as accurate as we think they are.

There have been situations where I believed I understood exactly what happened.

Then I asked one more question.

The conversation changed completely.

Sometimes I learned there were obstacles I hadn't considered.

Sometimes expectations hadn't been as clear as I believed.

Sometimes the employee had already identified a solution before we even met.

Curiosity has taught me not to confuse confidence with certainty.

Confident leaders continue asking questions.

People Grow When They Feel Heard

One of the greatest gifts a leader can give another person isn't advice.

It's attention.

We've all experienced conversations where someone was simply waiting for their turn to speak.

We've probably also experienced the opposite.

The rare conversation where someone listened so well that we felt completely understood.

That's what coaching should feel like.

People become more willing to reflect, grow, and take ownership when they know their perspective matters.

Listening communicates respect.

Respect builds trust.

Trust creates the environment where growth becomes possible.

Curiosity Builds Confidence

When someone asks thoughtful questions instead of immediately providing answers, employees begin exploring their own ideas.

They often discover they're more capable than they believed.

I've watched people solve challenges they initially thought required my help.

Not because I gave them the answer.

Because I asked the question that helped them find it.

Those moments are incredibly rewarding.

Not because I solved the problem.

Because I watched someone else's confidence grow.

Coaching Is a Daily Habit

For a long time, I thought coaching happened during scheduled one-on-one meetings.

Today, I see it differently.

Coaching happens in hallway conversations.

During project updates.

After meetings.

While walking between departments.

During quick check-ins that last only a few minutes.

Leadership isn't built only in formal meetings.

It's built through consistent everyday interactions.

Every conversation is an opportunity to encourage someone, ask a thoughtful question, or help another person grow.

The leaders who make the biggest impact usually aren't coaching more because they have more time.

They're coaching more because curiosity has become a habit.

Curiosity Creates Better Leaders—Not Just Better Employees

One of the biggest surprises in my own leadership journey is realizing how much curiosity has changed me.

The more curious I became, the more patient I became.

The better listener I became.

The less pressure I felt to always have the perfect answer.

The more I appreciated perspectives that were different from my own.

Leadership became less about proving myself and more about developing others.

Ironically, that's when I believe I became a better leader.

Growth wasn't happening only for my team.

It was happening for me as well.

Small Questions Create Big Change

People sometimes assume coaching requires long conversations.

It doesn't.

Some of the most impactful coaching moments begin with a simple question.

"What do you think?"

"Tell me more."

"What have you learned?"

"What's another possibility?"

"How can I support you?"

Those questions take only a few seconds to ask.

Yet they often create conversations people remember for years.

Never underestimate the influence of one thoughtful question.

The Habit Worth Building

If I could encourage every leader to build one habit, it wouldn't be learning to talk more.

It would be becoming more curious.

Curiosity slows us down.

It keeps our ego in check.

It strengthens relationships.

It uncovers perspectives we might otherwise miss.

Most importantly, it reminds people that they matter.

Not just because of the work they do.

Because of who they are.

That's the kind of leadership people remember.

Final Thoughts

Curiosity has become the habit that shapes every coaching conversation I have.

It reminds me to listen before speaking.

To ask before assuming.

To coach before correcting.

To develop people instead of simply directing them.

I still have plenty to learn.

Leadership has a way of making sure of that.

But if there's one habit I'll continue practicing every day, it's this:

Stay curious.

Because curiosity doesn't just change conversations.

It changes leaders.

Coach's Corner

If I could go back and give my younger leadership self one piece of advice, it would be this:

Stop worrying so much about having the perfect response.

Instead, become deeply interested in the person sitting across from you.

People rarely remember every word we say.

They remember how we made them feel.

Curiosity has a remarkable way of making people feel seen, heard, and valued.

That's one of the greatest gifts a leader can give.

Leadership Reflection

As you prepare for your next coaching conversation, consider these questions:

• Am I entering this conversation with curiosity or assumptions?

• What can I learn before I offer advice?

• Which thoughtful question could create the greatest insight?

• How can I spend more time listening than speaking?

• What opportunity do I have to help this person discover their own strengths?

Leadership doesn't change because we have better answers.

It changes because we ask better questions.

Continue Building Your Leadership Toolkit

Curiosity is one of the most powerful coaching habits a leader can develop—but turning curiosity into consistent coaching takes intention.

That's why I created the Coaching Conversation Framework from The Powers Forma. It provides practical coaching questions, conversation guides, reflection prompts, and leadership tools that help you create meaningful coaching conversations that build confidence, strengthen relationships, and develop future leaders. Because coaching isn't just a skill—it's a habit that shapes every conversation.